भावले ल्याउने सुख बोलीले ल्याउने सुख

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दर्शक खुशी र सुख हेरिरहेको थियो। भावले ल्याउने सुख बोलीले ल्याउने सुख । शान्त वातावरणमा आउने सुख । हावाको स्पन्दनले ल्याउने सुख । ध्यानले खुलाउने सुख । प्रवचनले ल्याउने सुख । चराको उडान टहल्दा हुने सुख। रुखको छहारी बिताउदाको सुख । कसैलाई सेवा गर्दा सुख । एकहोरो आकाश टहर्दाको सुख । वादलसँग उड्दाको सुख । चन्द्रमा र समय एक हुँदाको सुख । कालो रात्रीमा आफैँ हराउदाको सुख।

मधुर स्वरमा गुञ्जिएको धुनमा आउने सुख । चलिरहेको आवाज र चलिरहेको भावलाई चुपचाप चुपचाप हेर्दा हुने सुख । गुपचुप आवाज र भाव नसमाति आफैँसँग रहदा हुने सुख । चलेको नाटक जहाँ म आफैँ अञ्जानमै भुमिका निर्वाह गर्न जान्छु । त्यो रीस जहाँ शक्ति गतिमा चल्छ अनि म त्यसलाई आफ्नो ठानेर नठानेर नाटकमा सहभागी हुन्छु । त्यो दुख जो निस्किएर अनेकन शब्द राखेर हराएर जान्छ । त्यो डर बोली लिएर शंका भएर सिद्धिन्छ । ती पात्रता जसलाई मैले संकलन गरेकी छु । जसलाई भाव भरेर वास्तविक जस्तो बनाउछु । र अञ्जानमा भन्छु ती वास्तविक हुन । वास्तविक ती हराएर जान्छन् । त्यो वासना जो पटक पटक केही न केही चाहना लिएर देखिन्छ । पटक पटक सपना जसरी उडेर जान्छ । ती सपना जो चलेर सकिन्छन्।

के वास्तवमा सुख छ र ? हाँसा,े प्रिय हाँसो म आफैँलाई देखेर हाँस्दै छु । वास्तविक देखिने अवास्तविकपन, आफैले खेलेको भुमिका हेरेर हाँसिरहेछु । त्यसैले शंका छाडीदेउ प्रश्न सुख कहाँ छ भनेर ? त्यसैले दर्शक छाडीदेउ हेर्न सुख कहिले हुन्छ भनेर । त्यो सुख भएर पनि थिएन । पाएर पनि रहदैन । अञ्जान रुपमा सुखका लागी उठ्ने सबै शक्ति दुख हो । पटक पटक देखेकी हुँ । दर्शकको रुपमा ती खेल हुन् । मनमा उठेको हरकोही शक्ति भ्रम बनिरहेको छ । दर्पण बनिरहेको छ । त्यसैले यस्तो भान भइरहेछ विपना र सपना दुवै वास्तविक होइनन ।  

र, त यो शान्तपनको छहारीमा दर्शक भएर रहन चाहन्छु । रमण महर्षिले भनेजस्तै रेलभित्र किन कोही भारी बोकेर बस्नुपर्छ र । रेलमा भारी बिसाएर आनन्दसँग बस्न सकिन्छ । शाान्तपन जीवनको त्यो रेल हो, जहाँ जीवनको जस्तोसुकै भारीपन पनि हलुङ्गो बन्छ । त्यसैले मभित्र रहेको शान्तपनप्रति श्रद्धा पोख्छु । के म सधाकालका लागी यही शान्तपनमा रहन सक्छु ?

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